The Reason
by ECgekko
Summary: After only two months Arizona Robbins is back at Seattle Grace Mercy West. But what is her reason for returning?


**A/N:** This fic is on hiatus!  
I have no medical knowledge and all mistakes are mine.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything.

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**Voiceover**

_It is astounding how fast a dream can turn into a nightmare. You don't even realize it at first. But then there are those little things that make you see, that this is not the happy world you thought you'd be in. And with that realization comes the fear, the uncertainty of what will happen next. You try to run away, but you are unable to move. You can't run from your world, your body, your nightmare. Your only hope is to wake up soon._

_But what if you are already awake..._

**Callie's POV**

Beep. Beep. Beep.

With a groan I turned around in bed. Without looking I turned off the alarm and made my way to the bathroom. I hated getting up this early in the morning, but it comes with the job. And I loved my job. Lately it was the only thing that kept me going.

Twenty minutes and two cups of coffee later I was ready to leave the apartment. I navigated my way between the boxes that were still standing around. They had been there for two months, but I didn't feel ready to unpack them yet. How could I just unpack my life again and continue as if everything was okay? Exactly.. I couldn't.

The streets were slippery and I almost fell over twice before reaching the hospital. I had a day filled with three back to back surgeries. It was the only thing that helped keeping my mind off a certain blonde. Breaking and resetting bones to loud music was like a therapy for me. Afterwards I always felt better, even if it was only for a short period of time.

"Torres!", I heard my best friend's voice shouting after me. I stopped to let him catch up to me.

"You wanna go to Joe's tonight?", he asked hopefully. He asked everyday, and everyday I turned him down.

"Not today, Mark", I answered, turning to walk away. I knew he only had my best interest at heart, but sometimes I wished he would just leave me alone.

"Come on, Callie! It's been weeks. You need to get back on the horse."

I shot him a look that clearly showed how annoyed I was.

"Or not. At least come over with us and drink something."

"No, thanks, Mark. And now I have a surgery to get to, so if you'll please excuse me." Leaving him standing in the hall I walked to the locker room to get ready for my shift.

Four hours and two successful surgeries later I was on a complete high. I loved every part about my job, even routine knee or hip replacements, like the one I had this morning. But my second surgery was the real reason I was getting up everyday. Making someone walk again is beyond comparison. The rush I was getting from it was more then enough for me to smile again, even after what happened two months ago. It was in times like this when I thought I could move on. Arizona clearly hadn't wanted me in her life anymore, and who was I to mourn after her? I was a god! I made people walk again. I was a rock star with a scalpel. I...

stopped in mid motion, not believing what was right before my eyes. I pinched myself and blinked hard, but it didn't go away. She didn't go away. The high I had been on only seconds ago was gone, being replaced with a pain in my chest, that radiated all though my body.

I was in shock, unable to move, breathe even, my eyes were glued to the figure, who just walked across the bridge towards Dr. Webber's office. Why was she here?

"Dr. Torres, I have the X-rays for.. What got you all looking like you've seen a ghost?", I heard the distant voice of Alex Karev. He seemed to have followed my gaze because suddenly he gasped in shock.

"She's back?"

I wanted to turn around and run far away but at the same time I wanted to race upstairs, take her in my arms and never let her go again. But I couldn't move either way. She had left me. On an airport. She broke my heart and I wanted to hate her for that.

Suddenly she turned around and I could see her face for the first time. She talked to Teddy, who was walking beside her. At something Teddy said she smiled one of her dimpled smiles I had loved so much.

Involuntarily I took a gasping breath and tears filled my eyes. Although my gasp had been quiet and the hospital was busy, Arizona had heard me. Her eyes snapped towards me and she stopped walking. The smile on her face vanished and she looked at me sadly.

For a few seconds we were just staring into each other eyes, before I eventually broke the spell, that seemed to surround us. Finally having control over my legs again I left the lobby as fast as I could, without turning back.

I desperately tried to control my shaking hands as I scrubbed in for my next surgery. I couldn't believe she was here! How could she just come back like that? Right when I thought I could go on without her? Angrily I wiped away yet another tear that was running down my face before realizing my mistake. I let out a frustrated groan and started scrubbing in all over again.

My hands were still a little shaky when I stepped into the OR, but I was sure it would go away once I held the drill. Relaxing my shoulders and stretching my neck I stepped to the OR table. I realized my hands were still too shaky to make the incision, so I turned to Avery, who was the resident on the case.

"Take the scalpel, Avery, and make an about 3 inch long incision above the patella." Seemingly surprised at my order the young resident looked at me for a second before eagerly grabbing the scalpel and getting to work.

I let him do almost all the work because I didn't trust my hands right now. We were almost done with the surgery as I looked up to the gallery. I instantly froze as blue eyes locked with mine. Arizona stood all the way in the back of the gallery, as if she didn't want to be seen. Her eyes went wide and she stumbled backwards out of the door.

I stared at the door for a few seconds before closing my eyes and shaking my head. I couldn't let her do this to me. She didn't have the right to do this!

"Very good, Avery. Close him back up", I said, left the OR and scrubbed out in record time. As I stepped in the hall I saw Arizona sitting on a gurney, lost in thoughts and with watery eyes. I stopped in my tracks. I had no idea what to say.

She looked up. As she saw me she jumped off the gurney and wiped away the tears, that were threatening to fall, away.

"Calliope, I'm so sorry..", she started, but I realized then, that I didn't want to hear it.

"No!" She opened her mouth to say something but I wouldn't let her.

"No!", I repeated louder. "You don't get to do this! You left me.. standing on an airport! You don't get to come back and apologize and expect everything to be okay again!"

"But I'm not..", she started again.

"You're not what? ¿Qué, Arizona? ¿Sabes qué, no quiero oírlo! No quiero saber nada de ti ya!" I realized I was yelling at her in Spanish now. I closed my eyes and took a deep but shaky breath. When I opened my eyes again I saw her staring at me in shock. I could see sadness and defeat in her eyes.

"I don't want to hear it, Arizona", I said before turning around and walking away.

I was laying in an on call room, trying to get my emotions under control. I hadn't meant to yell at her like that, but after two months of missing her and trying to hate her I just needed to let all my anger out.

I fumbled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Mark's number. He picked up instantly.

"Cal, I just heard! I.."

"Are you still going to Joe's tonight?", I asked, not wanting to hear what he had to say.

"Yeah, sure", he replied. Obviously a little irritated.

"Okay, I'll meet you there at eight", I said before ending the call. I really needed to drink tonight.

After composing myself again I sat down in a deserted attending's lounge and charted, just waiting for my shift to be over. I was so engrossed in my work that I didn't even notice the door opening.

"Callie?" I jumped when I heard my name. I looked up to find Teddy sitting on the couch next to me. She looked at me with pity.

"I don't wanna talk about it", I just answered, turning my concentration back to the charts.

"Callie, she's just..", Teddy started anyway.

"I said, I don't want to talk about it!", I spit out. I got up and left the lounge, wandering the halls of the hospital without a destination.

"Dr. Torres?"

"What?", I answered harsher than I intended.

"It's uhh.. just Amy Kringer. One of your post op patients. She was having trouble breathing, so I ordered some tests. I just thought I'll let you know", an intern stumbled out, obviously intimidated by me.

"And? What did the tests say?", I asked, not even trying to hide my annoyance.

"They're not back yet. I can go check, if you want.."

"No, I got it", I answered and went to get the labs. At least now I had something to do. Maybe Mrs. Kringer needed another surgery.

"Hey Adam. Do you have the labs for Mrs. Kringer?", I asked one of the lab workers.

"Sure, Dr. Torres. I got them here somewhere." He left and came back after a few minutes, handing me a folder.

"Thank you." I opened the folder, hopeful to find some indication for a surgery, but before I finished reading, Adam handed me another folder.

"That one's for Dr. Robbins. It says urgent, and I figured you're going to see her sooner than me."

I was about to respond and tell him that I'm most certainly are not going to see her sooner than him, but he already went back into the lab, leaving me standing in the hall with the folder in my hands.

Taking a deep breath I decided I would just give it to her. It didn't need to involve talking or even eye contact. I could do that.

Walking towards the peds floor I wondered if Arizona was back for good. She hadn't been wearing her scrubs today, so I figured she wasn't working yet. I stopped. If she wasn't working then why was she here? And why did she run labs? I looked at the folder a little closer.

Arizona's name was on it, but not only in the blank for the doctors name, but also in the patient's blank. Frowning I opened it and took out the lab results.

I dropped everything I was holding except for that page. There were six little letters at the very bottom. And those six little letters made my whole world crumble.

_HIV pos._

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**A/N 2: **Okay, so, I really hope that doesn't happen in the show.. I really don't know why my mind comes up with depressing things like that all the time.. anyway.. what do you think? Worth continuing?


End file.
